ABOUT ME
I have a Masters.
I’m a Certified Life Coach who went to Life Coach School to pursue a second career.
I am an Accountant and have worked in a Corporate and School District Office.
You may have just moved abroad with your family in the hopes of a beautiful life but your past experiences and the way you were raised, has caused you to try to please your parents or other people with the way you raise your children? Thereby, making the child feel controlled or like they aren’t heard. I’ve been through exactly this. I am the child of Immigrant parents who moved to Dubai, UAE in the 90’s, which was the IT place of that time. I have grown up experiencing the struggles of an Immigrant child while realizing now the struggles my parents went through being a mother myself.
You may have ended a relationship or gotten a divorce and had relatives say “Oh, you should have tried to adjust” “Maybe you should just do _ to please your partner?” “Give it time it will change” or even “Have a kid, it’ll bring you closer”. This is my lived experience. I moved abroad (UK) by myself when I was 21 to pursue my Masters Degree and met my ex-husband, who was not Indian (as my Uncles and Aunts would have expected). I went through a divorce when I was 25 but I was never the one who wanted to break the marriage. My church supported me through it all because I was all alone in England dealing with an abusive spouse and in-laws who were very biased. I was blessed to have understanding parents who stood by me, but how many of us have that? I walked out of that relationship with my head held high knowing I gave it my all. I learnt to prioritize my health, both physical and mental, before other people’s happiness and it led to me finding my husband now and us having our wonderful daughter. Do we have disagreements? Of course, we do! But because we are two different people with two different life experiences.
You may have parents who are dealing with the “repercussions” of your breakup or divorce. I’ve been there too. My parents dealt with this x 2! My sibling and I went thru messy divorces but what assured them was that we were happy and healthy and kept a strong communication line open. We were quick to shut down toxic family and send them on their way.
Do you have trouble with relatives thinking you rake in money for a living because you live abroad? Do they want you to provide for their lifestyle? Believe me, I have seen it from both sides having moved to Dubai at an early age and watching what my parents have gone through to now being my own family experiences. It takes a while to overcome the guilt that comes with saying NO to these requests even though you may be in the right to do so, and I can walk with you on that journey to liberating yourself and thereby maintaining a heathy relationship with everyone.
While I am never one to push for ending any relationship (relatives, spouse, parent- adult child relationship, self-in laws) where reconciliation is a possibility, I also don’t believe in becoming a doormat in a relationship to try to save it. Through all my experiences, I have learnt to love, forgive, heal, and sometimes turn around cut off toxicity (no matter who) and move on. And honestly, I feel much better for it and would like for other people to experience the same freedom for themselves with no guilt.
So, take that first step and let’s get started on a beautiful journey of being the best you can for YOURSELF!